Bright Ideas

You’ve heard them at the shows now you can ponder them at home………….
•    men are like mascara..they run at the first sign of emotion
•    you are never too old to learn something stupid
•    I always wanted to be a procrastinator but never got around to it
•    my inferiority complex isn’t as good as yours
•    if marriage were outlawed then only outlaws would have in-laws
•    the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades
•    failure is not falling down..its not getting up again
•    i used to be a lifeguard but some blue kid got me fired
•    the bigger they are the harder they hit
•    take life with a pinch of salt…a wedge of lime and a shot of tequila